Appropriation (Cultural and Otherwise)

In my absolutely final response to the non-relationship I have with Zeal and Ardor, I commend them on their former albums and have nothing much left to say about their music now. Unfortunately, having sifted through my files earlier today, I was reminded of why things went so badly and here is one of many examples (the above photo). Of course, it is ALL my fault, so they say. I forced them to do this, after all (that's sarcasm, by the way). And this is only a small portion of the harassment I have received from them, believe it or not. 

I was not well at all in this timeframe, for reasons they know more about than I do (and by they I mean Manuel Gagneux and Tiziano Volante). One of them claims my ex-husband deserves to be thrown in jail, by the way, but I don't know the precise reason why. They won't tell me the whole story. It seems to me like that is a bizarre way to handle things, all things considered. Maybe they can all share a cell together??? Whatever happened, it made me extremely sick and it took me many many months to regain what I had lost, in terms of my memory and my ability to think coherently. 

They obviously didn't know the difference between someone who is not well versus someone who is and I do not know what that says about them, but I want to remind my readers I begged them both to back off, many many times, to no avail. 

When I say I feel like a piece of meat in a shark tank, I do not exaggerate. At all. 

Me, pictured as shark bait

I would not give a care about the above photo, which is from a fake account they made using my name, nor the fact that they tried to ruin my name. My life will speak for itself when all is said and done, as will my writing and my artwork. However, it's the mocking of culture here, that is the real issue. Can you spot all the ways he is mocking Indigenous culture? And I would like to remind you, I attempted to convey to these people that my work concerned the Residential School System, which is a very painful and sensitive issue for our country involving genocide, and much more. It did not matter. They still made the choice to mock me for reasons I shall never quite comprehend. Gagneux openly states he doesn't believe in cultural appropriation, therefore does that mean he feels culture is fodder for making a buck, or mocking a woman he doesn't even know, etc etc.? Or am I just being harsh? Oh, disclaimer: if Gagneux didn't make that image, his bromance love-interest, Volante did. Only they know the truth, but good luck getting them to tell you what the truth is. 

Manuel Gagneux and Tiziano Volante (Instagram)  

SIDENOTE: And, by the way? If you think I talk too much? That's a YOU problem. I am sorry you can't keep up with me, boys, but there are men who can. So please, accept the things you cannot change. 

In this way, as well as many others, I feel they/he attempted to condense my entire life into an image like this. My family, my education, my life and everything I worked for, he attempted to diminish and to degrade or clearly stands behind the one who did this, but states he's "not a bad person at all". Notice the hair, the clothing, the colour? They/he mocked everything I cared about out of jealousy. Jealousy born out of the confusion of their own making at a time when I was extremely sick. Spineless. That's the word that comes to my mind here. 

They/he made my life an absolute hell, in many ways. I asked them/him over and over to just leave me alone and if I sent personal photos it was because I assumed they/he would not be the type to accept that kind of garbage and that would cause them to leave me alone once and for all. There is no level that seemed too low and don't get me wrong, I can be extremely raunchy when I want to be, because I used to use sex as a form of self destruction much like an alcoholic will drink themselves into oblivion. But they wanted this. They liked it. So, my attempt to repel them didn't work, which is so disappointing. I am trying to rebuild my life, not repeat old patterns. They will not take no for an answer. Nothing has worked, so I have to use my ability as a writer to tell this story because I have no other option. It is the ugliest story, too and I despise being put in this position more than you may think. 

They/he still think somehow I want to know them or meet them, but I do not. I am disgusted by such arrogance and such deep and insensitive ignorance. They/he never gave me a proper chance and always stacked the deck in their own favour against me when things got difficult, apparently assuming I could not survive on my own OR I was just out for money (ha!) and therefore thought it was okay to steal all my ideas before I even had a chance to bring them forth in my own way. So, it is the end of the line for me. This sort of depravity is not what I expected when I made the attempt to communicate with these guys. Again I say, kill your darlings (not literally, of course). We were all born as human beings, we all have choices we make, but I never had a choice in any of this. I feel, totally and completely, that this entire charade was forced on me, in many many ways. I detest this entire experience to my core and I regret ever listening to Zeal and Ardor, regardless of the discoveries I have made along the way. I would have found my way back home, probably much more quickly and easily, without these parasites feeding off my life and that's all it ever amounted to. What I don't understand is how they decided it was okay to treat me this way, when they clearly do not do this sort of stuff to other women. It's a level of misogyny towards me that I have never seen the likes of, but neither of them have ever met me face to face. What would you do if someone did these things to you? I wonder how other people would handle these events. Writing about it here is a last resort to slough this stain from my life so I can move on and be free of it once and for all. And for the record, my name IS Jody Noëlle Doughty, but that is not what I look like and that is not the kind of woman I am, at all. I cannot believe I have to waste my time and energy on this garbage, but here we are and yes, I hate it. There is nothing good left to say about this band or their music. It is just plain and simply over, for me. 

Even though the story between me and this particular band is over, I still have much to discuss in regards to my love of music, but I also love to write about the human condition and how I find meaning in the world around me. I welcome you, if you want to continue the journey with me beyond this disgraceful era of my life. Onward and upward, as they say.