Save Yourself From This (Götterdämerung Be Damned)
Amidst this vision/drugging experience/epiphany type episode I had in 2020, it seemed to me that there was a war going on within the realms of sound, which is also the same as the spirit realm, in my opinion. I believe Gagneux experienced something very similar when we first connected, hence the song Götterdämmerung was born. Whatever you call it, it was beyond my control as well as his, as far as I know, but we experienced something rather profound, together. Things went off the rails, obviously, and it's that song specifically that really caused the issue and I've explained the reasons why HERE. In general terms, it is derived from a renowned Nazi sympathizer, as well as whatever else might be on his resume. Also, I wanted to back Gagneux up in what he was trying to convey, and I wanted to do that in a way that was sincere and honest. This is why my music project began, but it totally backfired, as you may have guessed.
I couldn't seem to explain myself properly to anyone via art, nor texts, nor writing. So I decided I would try to throw something together by way of a sound composition. I will discuss more about that later, but surprisingly enough, through this continued investigation of rhythm, music, geography, lyrical content, and so on, I found another surprising piece to this puzzle within the work of Jeremy Dutcher. I was desperate to find a way to match the things I witnessed with something in the outside world that would explain it to others because I felt like I was sinking in quicksand with no one in sight to help pull me out. I had originally thought Gagneux had become a part of my life to help me with all of this, since he is the one who triggered the mental avalanche, but he only ever made it worse by piling on song after song after song, which made more work for me in ways he probably never understood, in terms of filing away all this information. It would not have mattered to me that he was making new music except for the fact that every single song he put out into the world had something to do with personal aspects of my life and I felt like I was being pulled apart from the inside out, personal photos notwithstanding. But I can look beyond all of that for the greater good. The story is not over.
Once more, Jeremy Dutcher saved the day for me. I finally came across his song Pomok naka Poktoinskwes on Spotify and then I found the live performance on Youtube and it was then that I saw Dutcher singing into the piano and I knew I was finally on to something. I knew I was not entirely lost or off base for the things I was experiencing. He was calling to those on the other side, the spirit realm, within the realms of sound and I could hear that call, somehow. The song itself is like an opera, representing the "battle" I witnessed when I tapped into this rhythm and thoughts and ideas and visions flooded my mind. I saw our Indigenous Peoples coming across the surface of the water (the Bay of Fundy, to be precise, which is a part of the traditional Wolastoqey territory) en masse, like a cloud, sweeping across the land much like a vast army. It was not REAL as in something everyone else could see, but these dynamics serve to assist me in telling my story and what I have experienced and what I saw in my mind's eye.
So, I was rattled when I heard Gagneux's Götterdämerung and especially perturbed when I realized the effect it had on me. It held something within it that made me extremely angry, to the point where I was seeing a flash of red within my mind's eye, just like the flash of visions I got at other times. I tried extremely hard to separate the effect the song had on me versus the people behind it, who were trying extremely hard to reach out to me, but were rejected every single time. I literally became viscerally afraid of the music of Zeal and Ardor after this because, once again, it seemed like these coincidences were just a little too close for comfort and Gagneux stood in representation of Lucifer, Baphomet, The Devil, or whatever else you want to call IT while composing songs inspired by dubious sources and I was stuck right in the middle of it all, going out of my mind with rage, fear, confusion and so on. After all, I was raised to not rush in where Angels fear to tread.
To put it succinctly, like clockwork, the music from these sources clash, head on. Just as they do with the songs Devil is Fine and Honor song.
Head-on is the name of a Pixie's song, incidentally.
The fact is, over here in Canada, we have our OWN version of a song denoting a great cosmic battle, and though I do not know the English translation of Pomok naka Poktoinskwes, it nevertheless conveys, to me at least, the story that speaks of a war, a clashing, a confrontation. If I had had the chance to convey these things properly, I would have admonished Gagnuex to forgo the work inspired by a Nazi sympathizer and instead, look a little more deeply into what had happened between us. We could have made something much much better than the premise of Götterdämerung (and that is not to critique the song based on its creative merit) because we could have told the same kind of story, but from a different and better source. I saw so much potential in a mutual collaboration, but have held my cards pretty close to my vest until now as to why I feel that way. The reason for that is based on a sense of timing. There is always a right and wrong time to tell a story, just like there is always a right and wrong time to eat a bowl of Jell-o. Do you know what I mean?
For anyone trying to keep up with this, I mentioned I would discuss one of my albums for my Accihte Music Project, but I decided to write this first.
I enjoy exploring these concepts. To Pomok naka Poktoinskwes and Götterdämerung I would add a few more songs, like a playlist. But it's more like a sort of Shakespearean Opera that goes on and on and on.
Playlist for my friends:
For Whom the Bell Tolls (Metallica)
Pomok naka Poktoinskwes (Jeremy Dutcher)
Götterdämerung (Zeal and Ardor)
AND
Little Horn (Marilyn Manson, if you're nasty)
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