Manuel Gagneux
(source: YouTube)
For the benefit of all involved over here on the East Coast, I have another chapter to this crazy story regarding Manuel Gagneux, my family, et al. Let me remind you, Gagneux has often contacted me under his Alias MARCUS ROWAN (or some derivative of the name) and through the course of our conversations, he recently implied he sent money to my ex-husband. I do not know how much he sent, if this is true, but I do know that Gagneux had an absolute fit when he found out I bought my own car around the same time. He assumed my ex-husband gave me the money to buy the car and that he and I were in league against Gagneux. Sadly, and typically, this ridiculous assumption is not the case at all.
My ex-husband never spoke to me again since the last time we saw each other, which was in 2021, he never acknowledged any form of communications whatsoever including the divorce papers my lawyer sent to him. He left me saddled with a huge student loan debt, which he helped to incur and promised to help me pay back when the time came, and he also sold all the materials I had accumulated to start a business at our property in the woods (Stormcrow) as well as my university textbooks and still, I never saw a penny of any of it. So if that isn't enough to give you indigestion, add to that another layer to this little information tart in the form of a man from Switzerland meddling in my life and accusing my ex-husband of trying to do me serious harm (which he wrote about in his song Dearly Beloved) and if you watch the video and observe the lyrics, you will see Gagneux was trying to communicate these things to me as well as my family, but it didn't land well. And when you've swallowed all of that information, then take a swig at the thought that Gagneux sent my ex-husband money and my ex-husband revealed absolutely nothing about it to me, if this is in fact true.
Imagine yourself in this scenario, dear reader. What would you do? I didn't know what to do but I know it feels like some sort of bizarre fever dream that I just cannot wake up from, some days.
I do not know how much of Gagneux's claims are true, I do not know how many of them are false, and I do not know to what extent this is effecting my kids, but I know it's beyond anything I can sort out. If it is true that he gave my ex-husband money, I certainly never knew about it and it actually explains a lot of things that have been a huge question mark in my mind. I knew our marriage wasn't going to last, but I assumed we would part as friends, since we share two amazing kids. I didn't predict there would be a huge brick wall between me and my ex-husband, not to mention my kids and extended family, but the one who is quite possibly responsible for its construction will be taking the stage at a concert at a place called Scheessel tomorrow, which I do not even know how to pronounce. But, the show must go on.
I am not angry, dear reader. I am just disappointed.
I can also say that this new development, in terms of this information coming to light, certainly flies in the face of the whole cat-fishing scenario once more, which was started by friends and family and though I knew I wasn't being catfished at all, this rumour caused me to react to Gagneux with trepidation and certainly put a strain on everything. Things just devolved, layer after layer, and the further down this whole situation sank. I've learned a lot about people, in the interim. I've learned a lot about trust, and lack thereof, and I've learned there's a lot of people who will lie before they ever tell the truth.
Let me present you with another piece of evidence to suggest I was not catfished. When I told my mother about Gagneux hacking my phone and compromising my privacy, she said it would make a great story for the tabloids. I wasn't too thrilled about her response to all of this because I was coming at it from a more spiritual perspective, and just like everyone else around me, she dragged it down into the gutter super-quickly. It was so disappointing.
Well, we had an audience for that conversation (clue) and it wasn't long after that he came up with this little piece of garbage (below) to show he was still listening, had heard what my mother said, and decided to take the opportunity to mock and degrade me and my family. I guess Gagneux doesn't realize how any of this comes across to a mother, but my mother doesn't think too highly of Gagneux, for obvious reasons. I think if he had properly introduced himself, she would think otherwise, but he's admits (to me) he is a coward and so I doubt he would ever have the courage to face her, not after all of this. Time will tell. So there's another layer. Why did this happen to me? I ask myself this over and over and over again, but the fact of the matter is he has become so intertwined in my family dynamics, he's basically like an adopted stray dog who poops on the living room carpet. He can't help it, he wasn't taught anything in terms of how to behave when he was a puppy. So, I just go behind him and clean it up and hope he will learn. I can't kick him back out onto the streets because I know he won't survive.
Here is the response to my mother's tabloid comment, which Gagneux overhead. He sent this to me on Instagram right after he told me he loves me. And to remind you of the puppy metaphor, it's like he peed on my leg BECAUSE he loves me. I guess?
Isn't it wonderful? If you read the fine print, you can see he's mocking my divorce, my name (which I've blacked out), my body (which I also blacked out) as well as a variety of other components of events that have occurred between us. Specifically, during our ZOOM calls, I was eating homemade pizza and therefore, he makes a pizza reference. The "free pizza for everyone" is in regards to the fact that I was texting Mr Volante within this timeframe and Gagneux was watching these chats in secret and deeming me to me "cheating" on him, but because these two always use false names when they contact me (or they USED to) I didn't realize the mistake I was making. But in Gagneux's world, I guess no one is allowed to make mistakes, because they WILL come back to haunt you. My mistake has lead him to decide to publicly humiliate me over and over again, in his own special way. Of course, he tried to whisk me off my feet, originally, let's give him credit for that. It was totally lost on me because I don't have the brain capacity to think along those lines and I told him that many times. I've never had the luxury to be romantically inclined and there would have been no way I could have been what he needed to be in the state I was in when all of this started to happen. I should have been flattered, I guess. I was not. I was tired, hurting, and wanted time to heal. As I have said before, that was unacceptable when the gears of rockstar-land start moving. Everyone is on a time-crunch, after all. And let's not even talk about how his tour manager read all my private texts for Gagneux's protection, while I was experiencing some sort of breakdown, I guess.
But through all of this, I ask you, who was protecting me? Not my family. Not Gagneux. Not anyone.
I was horrified by this little attempt to make me feel bad. It hit way below the belt and I think the suggestion at play here was the fact that he assumed I thought he was going to blackmail me with personal photos, to teach me a lesson. In fact, between Volante and Gagneux, I've received quite an "education" about what to do and what not to do, online. In response to this so-called education, I often wondered why they weren't taking the time to educate themselves regarding privacy laws in Canada? At any rate, this hurt me, badly. I published it on Instagram and made sure to tag their band, but at the end of the day, I don't think anyone cares what musicians do or do not do, so long as they provide entertainment. I could be wrong.
However, the icing on this mashed-up little cake is the fact that I am now getting information passed down to me that Gagneux gave my ex-husband money. Well, he certainly never sent ME any money. I've been taking care of myself. As for my ex-husband? Only they know if this is true or not. I know absolutely nothing about it at all. I do know it was assumed by my ex-husband that I could not take care of myself. It was also assumed by Gagneux that I needed to be rescued, I guess. But neither of those assumptions have proven to be true. I CAN take care of myself, thank you very much and I do NOT need to be rescued. What I needed was to figure out where I went wrong in my life and start over and put my own needs first and forget about everything else.
What gives me moments of reflection is the fact that my youngest kid told me that they didn't need any money from me, that money was no problem. And my eldest kid stopped accepting e-transfers from me. As tough as things might be between us, I've never known kids to turn down free money from their parent, but they turned down money from me. It was never a lot. I sent $50 here and there as I could, which I was quite proud of myself to be able to do because there was a time when I couldn't afford that. I was pleased I had finally established myself enough that I could help them out from time to time. And I established myself because I got a job and went to work and paid my own bills and started to make my own way on my own. But, of course, men being what men are, they had to attach a nefarious meaning to it all, assuming I couldn't afford my own car so I must have a man in the background helping me out. Well, there has never been any help from a man here. It's just me, getting up, going to work, coming home, and doing it again, just like everyone else does. Why that seems so hard to believe, I do not know.
You cannot live your life to please everyone else's expectations of you, that I know for sure. But why is it that my life has devolved to such an alarming degree, when I am generally doing my best to do my best? Everywhere I look, there are a lot of people talking about me behind my back, assuming the worst of me, and concluding some pretty awful things. As a matter of fact, I was sitting at my stepdad's bedside when he first returned from the hospital farther away after his leg was amputated and I got a call from my ex-husband's girlfriend, out of the blue. She started calling me all kinds of names and told me I am a bad mother and she also proceeded to describe my ex-husband's anatomy, as if I didn't already know. But another thing she mentioned was something about "Manuel's money". I had no idea what she was referring to. It was weird to me that she said those words, without any context that made sense to me at the time. But this is yet another clue that there is a lot more going on in this situation than I am aware of. In fact, I think I've been totally in the dark about most of what has happened to me and all around me. But it seems like everyone has been having quite an intersting time talking about me, labelling me, being mean to me, making assumptions and so on. I can only conclude that I must rattle everyone's cage way more than I realized and I suppose I am sorry for that but I would also suggest everyone put a little more effort into their OWN lives, instead of feeding off of what's going on in my life. If everyone did that, maybe everyone would be a lot happier and everyone would get off my back and stop expecting me to contort myself into their expectations of me.
I love roses more than any other flower in the world. That much is true. However, I never promised ANYONE on this planet a
rose garden. And here is a little truth-bomb I want everyone to know. Gagneux has made it perfectly clear to anyone willing to listen, that he is head-over-heels in love with me and more than that? I apparently give him the biggest raging erection he's ever had in his life (sorry you had to read that, mom). It's so bad, I guess he's lost a lot of blood flow to his brain and it effected him in a very intense way. He said something about a hospital and an ambulance and whatnot... and if you still do not believe me, well maybe the following video will help you. I think Gagneux is trying to tell everyone that he spent a lot of time with me in the bathroom, especially when I lived on Pitt Street in Saint John, NB. This video for his song
Dial Up for his Birdmask music project, as well as many others, is his way of taking a little responsibility for his role in all of this. But if you're not willing to watch and listen and learn? Well, fine then. Believe I was catfished. That's totally your decision. Oh, and by the way, it was my communications with Volante that was the impetuous for Gagneux to do some rather ridiculous things to me. The tabloid page is one thing he did, he created an account on Facebook with my entire name, suggesting it was there for the purpose of sexual exploitation of some kind, and he published nude photos of me on Instagram. He says this is all Volante's fault for "poisoning him against me". Isn't that just a superior way for grown men to behave? Unfortunately, I thought it was Volante who made that tabloid page, originally. What a disastrous mess this has turned into and in retaliation, I've left a barrage of bad comments on their social media.
But it all has to stop. It is time for everyone, myself included, to take this to a higher level because something really special has occurred here, all jokes aside. I explained some of it in my previous post, but that's only scratching the surface of things I wish to impart regarding my experiences with music and my music project (Accihte) and so on. So, my next post will be about an album I wrote called Maqenike, where I will dive into the topic of origins of language.
As for this post? Well, it's not too glamorous but it tells the story as I see it. I am not innocent in all of this, I've certainly played the devil's advocate more times than I should have (pardon the expression), but I wanted to make the intricacies of this situation known, in defence of all involved. I still love Zeal and Ardor as a band, I still appreciate all they have done for me. I forgive Gagneux and I regret the ways in which Volante got roped into all of this. All I can say is this; onward and upward. Much love and peace.
Post Script:
Here is a screenshot of a part of my conversation with Manuel this morning. Isn't that nice?
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